Tag Archives: nature

autumn leaves

Season’s greetings

Sometimes a change in the season can spark old memories and the feelings associated with them.

Autumn is definitely here up in Edinburgh. Over half of the leaves on the lime trees on my street have changed colour to a yellowy-gold, and even though it has been sunny, it has also been cold, and the second storm of the season has arrived.

This autumn is reminding me of last autumn, and autumns before that. I’m thinking of autumn weekends travelling to see the leaves in the past decade, and before that, autumns in countries where the weather didn’t change much; and even before that, as a child when autumn meant conkers and kicking piles of leaves. But I notice I’m feeling a lot of sadness as well, which doesn’t really make sense. Until I realise that most of all, I’m being reminded of autumns with my much loved old dog Daisy, walking through the leaves with her, or going on forest walks with her in all the colours of autumn. These are happy memories, but I feel sad that those times are past, that she’s not with me any more – she died in January. Maybe this time of year will always remind me of her, colouring the season with grief.

The sights, smells and sounds of autumn can bring back feelings that were around in the past. We might find ourselves feeling sad, and work out that it’s because the last time the leaves turned, we were feeling really alone. If we had a painful conversation or received some bad news while crunching through autumn leaves, we might feel those same feelings next time we crunch through leaves. These feelings might not immediately make sense – it can sometimes take time to catch up. One way to help yourself understand what is happening, is to journal. Spend some time with your journal, reflecting on what is happening in the natural world around you, and any feelings you can identify.

So autumn might be bringing up feelings from the past, as your senses recognise the new season. You might also notice that the reminder of time passing is leading you to reflect on how our pasts and presents interact. We might compare past and present autumns, or wonder how we travelled from that past autumn to this present one. We might be prompted to worry about future autumns: where will we be next year when the leaves are turning? Some of these thoughts might be helpful, some of them not so much. When we find our thoughts to be a long way from the present, I wonder if we can find an ability to pause for a moment, mentally step away and check on what’s going on. Something that might help you learn how to pause is a meditation or mindfulness practice.

If you are experiencing unexpected feelings, especially if they don’t really make sense, I wonder if they are old ones. Maybe something about the change of season is reminding you of a past time like this, and the feelings of that time are reappearing. You might like to do some journaling about what’s going on, or talk to a friend. Of course, counselling can help as well – therapy sessions can be great places to explore our feelings and memories, and the intersection of past present and future that memory-jolters can sometimes take us to.

Feelings at Springtime

Depending on where you are in the world, you might currently be enjoying springtime. Here in Edinburgh the days are already so much longer and lighter, nearly all the trees are in bud if not in leaf, and seedlings are sprouting all over the place. 

What impact does all this activity, new life and energy have on you? Does it give you some extra get up and go, are you getting round to doing things that had only been a plan so far this year? Does the optimism of nature around you make you feel optimistic too? Maybe the long winter of slowness was just right for you to compost, and with the sunshine, higher temperatures and activity all around you, you are bursting with energy yourself!

Or have you been taken by surprise by some feelings of melancholy and fatigue? Maybe you can’t find any spring in your step, and are feeling sad, heavy or low. The German language has a word for this feeling: 

Frühlingsmüdigkeit

It means ‘Spring Tiredness’ – and there’s even a Wikipedia page about the feeling – find it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Springtime_lethargy

As well as feeling uncomfortable, you might also be wondering what’s going on with you. It might not seem to make sense: you’ve been waiting for spring through the dark, cold winter months, and maybe there were things you were looking forward to. But now it’s here, none of those things seem appealing. Feeling low wasn’t part of your spring plan for yourself. As well as this mismatch between the nature around you, it might also be quite lonely to feel sad at this time of year. It’s ok to share how hard winter is emotionally, but there isn’t much open talk about any negative feelings in springtime. 

So, what to do if you are experiencing something like ‘spring tiredness’? If you know what activities often help you to feel better, it might be worth trying one or some. But you might not feel up to this. Talking to someone often helps, perhaps there’s someone you could call. If you don’t feel like speaking to a friend, then google organisations near you that have a free telephone listening service. 

If you are feeling low or sad, or something like that, it might be familiar to you – maybe from other spring times, maybe from other times. When you read about ‘spring tiredness’, you might recognise your own experience, or you might realise that your experience in fact is something different.  You might want to work through these feelings with a counsellor, a trained professional who’s there alongside you.

Whatever you decide to do, always remember to treat yourself softly and gently, and to speak to yourself in the kindest way you can. 

Christmas is approaching.

As November continues, Christmas is getting closer and closer. I am mainly aware of this because Christmas adverts are appearing, plus conversations about these adverts, which seem to lead to other conversations about Christmas. Rather than make me excited about the coming festivities, I notice that actually, a lot of these adverts make me quite angry – particularly the messages that I must buy things. You might notice that you get a bit – or very – angry as well, maybe for the same reasons, or perhaps it’s the depictions of family life at Christmas that get to you.

What else comes up for you as Christmas approaches? It’s not an easy time of year for a lot of people: we see all these messages on the media about how we should be spending it, how we should feel, what we should be offering to others. We also have our own histories of Christmas past, and we might also be aware of the histories of people close to us. If a close friend loves Christmas, is there space for you to not love it? You might find yourself building a wall inside you, to protect you from all these difficult feelings and memories.

As Christmas gets nearer, I find myself needing more time outside in nature, where I can observe the cycle of the year amongst the trees, and in the sky. I need to focus on the jewel-like berries on offer to the birds, on the fallen leaves that will become food for next year’s seeds. I can imagine those seeds already under the ground, composting away quietly. Sunrise is later and later, and being able to catch stunning orange skies at the start of the day feels like nourishment to me. These are the adverts I really need to see.

You might find it hard to talk about what you really feel about Christmas, and to share memories of Christmases that weren’t like the ones on the adverts. But sharing these stories and the feelings that come with them can be healing, and exploring them might mean that things move around for you inside, making space for a Christmas that suits you.

A counsellor might be someone you can explore these kinds of issues with, or you might prefer to journal about this time of year. A quiet walk in the woods might be right for you – or a mixture of all three. Taking steps like this, where these feelings are allowed out, and where these stories can be told, might mean that Christmas can feel easier for you in future.

Where next?

Here are some ideas for making the most of nature for healing: https://www.meditationoasis.com/how-to-meditate/simple-meditations/nature-meditations

Here’s a nice ‘how to’ start journalling: https://www.wikihow.com/Keep-a-Mental-Health-Journal

And if you would like to start counselling, contact me here, or have a look at the BACP Therapist Directory for someone who feels like a good match: https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/how-to-find-a-therapist/

    As the seasons change, so do we:

    This time of year isn’t great in my experience. It’s the time between summer and autumn. The weather has certainly changed, it’s colder, greyer, wetter and darker. The leaves have started to change – but they’ve only just started changing. So the colours are muted, a few oranges and yellows here and there, but there are more dull greens and greys. I’m looking forward to proper autumn – to the fabulous colours of the trees and to more crisp bright sunshine days.

    When the seasons change, I don’t know about you, but I feel things within me shift around as well. When winter comes, I feel like staying close to home, warm and cosy and quiet, embracing the feeling of composting. Springtime might be a time of things stirring, ideas bubbling up to the surface with some energy. Summer can be a mixture of relaxing and moving, of languid and high energy. Autumn to me feels like the bang of the end of the year, beautiful colours are everywhere, a real celebration of the year we’ve had.

    But this moment, these few weeks between summer and autumn seem to be pretty rubbish, neither one thing nor another. This particular year feels worse to me, there’s a lot of uncertainty and a lot of things to worry about – as well as waiting for the colours to reveal themselves, we’re also waiting to see what’s going to happen next in the world. Maybe you’re finding yourself feeling (much) more anxious than usual?

    How can we best support ourselves in times like these?

    I wonder if you find that just when you most need to support yourself, is also just when you stop doing the things that support you. Just when I know more meditation and yoga will help me, is just when I find it harder and harder to get onto the mat. Just when I know I need to support my immune system with lots of fruit and veg, is just when I reach more frequently for biscuits and cakes. It takes more effort than normal to do those things I need to do.

    A resource I find myself turning to at times like these are Tara Brach’s talks and meditations. She talks about our human experiences, and shares stories. I find myself feeling calmer and more grounded, more connected back to myself and my human nature. When the outside world seems overwhelming, https://www.tarabrach.com/navigating-the-dark-ages/, this talk has helped me. There’s a long list of other talks here https://www.tarabrach.com/talks-audio-video/. You might find yourself drawn to one as you scroll through.

    Finding a counsellor for yourself is also a great way to support yourself. Your counsellor is someone who’ll come to know you well, and only want the best for you. Your counsellor can be there to hear just how awful you find certain times of the year, and you can share everything with them – no need to worry about burdening them, or about having to make time to hear their worries as well. If you think we could work together, fill in a contact form below. If you’d like to have a look at some other counsellors, see who’s out there and who might be a good match for you at difficult times, a good place to start is the BACP Therapist Directory https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists.

    I hope you find some ways to help you through these difficult weeks, and let’s all look forward to the display of reds, yellows and golds that’s coming our way any minute.

      Podcasts that might be Helpful

      I’d like to suggest some podcasts that might be helpful to you. I don’t know how you choose to listen to your podcasts, I use Podcast Addict but maybe you use Spotify or iTunes, so the links here are to the actual websites, and you can then get them on your chosen app.

      To help you sleep:

      Tracks to Relax are guided sleep meditations read in one of the most relaxing voices I have ever heard.

      Nothing Much Happens are incredibly dull stories, again read in a super soothing voice. And then repeated, a little bit more slowly.

      To help with grief:

      Griefcast is a series of interviews about grief, perhaps helpful evidence that grief really is different for everyone.

      To help with anxiety:

      Not Another Anxiety Show is about all different kinds of anxiety, some of which might be familiar to you.

      To help with being human:

      Brene Brown’s podcast Unlocking Us is conversations on all kinds of topics that might be interesting or helpful in some way.

      To connect with nature:

      Join Melissa on a daily walk in nature in The Stubborn Light of Things.

      Music and Soundscapes:

      BBC Sounds host some great podcasts that you might find relaxing or distracting. Calming Sounds is advertised for ‘your little one’, but adults are allowed to listen too. And the Mindful Mix includes soundscapes and music to help you sleep or relax.